Jeff Corrigan: welcome back to habit masters. I'm Jeff I'm Sheldon. And today we have a very special topic we wanna cover as we do every day on this podcast. this one is particularly dear to our hearts because it's something we've kind. Been mulling over for months and months, we call it the law of the habit.
Yes. And it's all about putting first things first in your life and making those things grow and not trying to do it all at once, but doing it little by little. So we have a really good metaphor. We're gonna jump into with Sheldon here in a moment. But before we do that, we have a very exciting announcement, which you heard last time.
You've been listening to the podcast. our course for the month of September of 20, 22 is free. So if you're listening to this during the month of September 20, 22, you can go to our website. You can go to our show notes, you can go to our social media. There's a link that takes you directly to free access to our course.
And all we want in exchange, Sheldon is what
Sheldon Mills: we want critical feedback . Good feedback that helps us improve. The course, we want as, as many people to go through it right now, as we can to take it from what we feel is good to a great course, that's really impactful. Really
Jeff Corrigan: meaningful.
Yeah. Normally $97 for you and a buddy, you can do it right now for free. So hop on and do it. And you have access to it forever after that. So it's not like, oh, after September you don't have access. Nope. This is free forever for you. We just want your feedback so we can improve this course and.
As useful as possible to anyone who wants to make daily progress on their biggest dream. Yep.
Sheldon Mills: So today, wow. The habit day three. I I'm gonna start start with the quote by James Allen's, you know, author of as a man thinketh, many other books. That's his most famous one. Here it is. A man's mind may be likened to a garden which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild, but whether cultivated or neglected, it must and will bring forth.
If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall there in and will continue to produce their kind. I mean, that sums it up in a nutshell, but okay. Our, our lives in our minds are like a garden. Something will grow there is. Piece of patch of soil in the world that gets sunshine, you know, rain that doesn't grow something.
Right. Things will grow. It's just the law of being alive. right. Yeah. So our life, our mind, our garden, ideally we have grown or are growing or working on growing the fruits that we want in our lives. But all of us have things that get in the way, you know, these weeds and noxious things that cut our hands and cause us turmoil.
But that's also part of life. And frankly, it's not fair. You know, a lot of us, some of us had Boulder thrown on our, our garden plot. You know, whether it be genetics or upbringing, but no matter what, what state it currently is in, we have some power. To change it for. Good. Right. So that's what we're gonna talk about a little bit today is that the law of the habit is, is whatever you spend your time, your focus on your energy that will grow you.
Can't not weed, right? Like that's part of life. You always have to, to weed there, the weed never stop. That's maintenance life. There's a maintenance. And at the same time, if you never focus on , the tree, the vegetables, the fruit you want to grow. And specifically spend time planting, cultivating, reaping what you sew.
You'll never grow the fruit that you want. Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: Well, let's take this back a couple of sessions ago when we were talking about identity, ? Yeah. So imagine if all you were doing is weeding and prepping your soil and you're like this garden's amazing. I've got the perfect soil.
I've weeded, all the weeds out. I've got water set up. Whoever has a planted garden. You know, this is kind of how you do it, right? You're like, oh, I, I got the soil ready. I got the water going. But if you never plant a seed, if you never just tell the soil what you want to grow, all it can grow is weeds.
legitimately, right? Like you have to choose what it is you're growing. And sometimes we unconsciously choose what we're growing. Not sometimes I'd say most of the time we're unconsciously choosing what we're growing by allowing external forces to decide for. I've got this job. They're telling me what to do.
I've got this. They're like, and so our life kind of gets created or our garden per se gets created almost without us knowing. ? Yeah. And suddenly we've got this garden. We're like, Hey, wait, this isn't the garden I wanted, like, why do I have peppers in here? Right. I didn't know. I didn't want pepper.
Maybe you guys love peppers, but for me, peppers are a no-go right. It's like jalapeno peppers. Yes. Green peppers. No. So, but you've got this garden. You're like, Why am I growing peppers? Oh, that was for my neighbor. Like he wanted peppers, like, why am I right. So that's
Sheldon Mills: what my college too far wanted to plant.
You know what I mean? Or that's what, that's what mom and dad .
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. Great example. She it's like quit what my college wanted me to plant. That's what my mom and dad wanted me to plant, but that's not really what I wanted. . So there's a great quote that Ben hard is always sharing. And we've shared it several times here by Robert bra that says we are kept from our goals, not by obstacles, but by a clear path to lesser goals.
And I think lots of times, it's just easier when you don't have to make the decision or put the risk in right to say, Hey, what if this seed doesn't work out? But planting a seed is like assuming a new identity in. It's deciding where you want to go and what you really want out of the next, in the case of a garden, you know, three to six months.
But in the case of your life, maybe it's three to five years. Like, what do I want out of the next 3, 5, 10 years in my life. Yeah. And just making that decision and being brave enough to plant the seed.
Sheldon Mills: Yes. . So in a nutshell, what we're really trying to convince every single person here, including ourselves is that we are the gardener.
This metaphor is really quite powerful. This analogy, right? I mean, we could go into different things. We've thought about like, it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to change whatever state it is now, you know what I mean? Like life needs get thrown over the fence.
boulders. Right. You know what I mean? It doesn't mean it's your fault, but it is your responsibility to decide what you're gonna do with
Jeff Corrigan: it, right? Yeah. You don't always control the start. Place of your garden, right? Right. Maybe you grew up, you had a rough background, maybe your family life wasn't the best.
Like, I, I don't know all your details of your life, but only, you know that, but your garden is what it is now. And like Sheldon's saying now you have the opportunity to make of it what you will. Yes.
Sheldon Mills: We've shared this book who not how find a who in your life. Right. Find someone who specializes in the fruit, you want to grow and go get their help to do it.
. Find a mentor, find a tribe, ? Same with things that are like the weeds in your life. Find a specialist, counselor, a therapist, some, do you know what I mean? Who who's specializes in this particular weed that. Hurts right. Or an excavator. do you know what I mean?
Jeff Corrigan: Yes, exactly. maybe in an excavator.
Sheldon Mills: next week. We're actually gonna have a special guest in our show, her name's Lisa Bishop, she's a psychologist. And we brought her on specifically, cuz she shared this analogy about yards and backyards are pretty well defined, but the front yards are a little squishy. And this idea, this question to ask yourself like, whose leaves are these anyway, do you know what I mean?
Like what is it really my decision versus their decision and family relationships and boundaries. So that's gonna be an awesome one next week. I'm just telling you right now, it's gonna
be
Jeff Corrigan: a good. Yeah, well, and in caring for your garden, right? It's also like caring for the leaves in your yard. Like, okay, what's my responsibility.
And, it's easy to put a lot of blame on others for the chaos in our lives. But we really need to look internally and say, okay, what part of it can I control? Right. Yeah. Regardless of who fault it is. What's my responsibility to handle. So not to go too deep into the psychology of that, but today we wanna share with you a few practical ideas honestly, of, of how to implement this in your life.
Yeah. Because it can get overwhelming. You can see your life and think like Sheldon and I, we told you last time we both have newborns in our families. So we are no strangers to overwhelm in exhaustion and not sleeping.
Sheldon Mills: It's amazing how being sleep deprived will just. Kill all motivation.
Jeff Corrigan: that? It does, right? yeah. So the fact that we're here today, guys means we love you a lot. Yeah. This is
Sheldon Mills: a huge win for us.
Jeff Corrigan: okay. So what can they do next, Sheldon? How do they implement this? Right? They got overwhelming. Okay. Maybe your garden's full of weeds. Maybe you can just pick a patch, right.
Say, okay. Right now I can't handle the whole garden. Right. I'm not gonna change the whole garden right now, because that is really challenging to be like, I'm gonna change my whole life tomorrow. Yeah. Instead pick one little section of your garden and what are you gonna do with it? Sheldon,
Sheldon Mills: You're gonna plant the seed you want to plant and nourish it and grow it.
I mean, the big idea here is that you are a gardener and have control to affect your life. But the kind of the next step after that is you always have time for the things that are most important , and you just showed the quote about, were kept from our dreams and not by obstacles, but , by lesser goals.
Do you know what I mean? Like, there is no action. You take. That there wasn't some impetus, you know, like I, I sat down here because I wanted to rest. My goal was to rest. There's a, a reason for everything we do. And we're saying our life is, is hectic. It's busy. It's crazy.
So we have to make a conscious decision. It's really a mindset thing, right? It's like we have to make a conscious decision to carve out, even if it's just 10 minutes. A focus and time and energy to plant and water and nurture the fruits that we want to grow. Right? It's like, yes, we want to go, this is our dream.
This is our goal. Well, you know, even little steps if really daily will have a huge impact over time. Again, the law of the habit could call it the compound effect. Mm-hmm , you know what I mean? 10 minutes, truly 10 minutes every day, three months down the road. Is a huge difference. Can you okay. Sometimes I talk to people I'm like, okay, do some kind of physical activity.
I, I don't, I'm talking about something hard, like make a conscious effort to go for a walk for 10 minutes. If that's where you're at. Like, honestly, if you did that 10 minutes every day after a month, you'd be astounded. The progress you've made. Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: Well, and, and it's interesting to think.
We think, oh, okay. After a month I'll be this I'll be that. Well, in reality, the moment you decide and commit to do that thing, you've assumed a new identity. Yes. As Ben Hardy always tells us he's a friend and mentor of ours. He, he talks about identity is, is defined by what you're most committed to.
So it really just comes down to committing to something you really want and walking out a little bit of time, every. To focus on that thing to plant the seed, but you've planted the seed once, once you've committed to it, you've planted the seed. And then the next step, like Sheldon's talking about that day to day stuff is really like watering the seed to, to take our analogy one step further,
it's like watering the seed every day. We all know if we have a garden out there and we don't water. What happens? Well, it dies. right. Like it's pretty quick to, so watering is the action that you take to grow and nourish that seed. And so whatever that looks like for you, Sheldon let's give him an example.
Sheldon Mills: Yeah. Well, I mean, just so you know, this idea is not new. We're just trying to hit at home. Like Steven Covey would call it urgent versus important, right? Mm-hmm, usually the things that are most important.
Aren't the urgent things in life. And you have to make a conscious effort to. Do the important before the urgent, he used the rocks and sand analogy. Right? You got you, you actually do have time for most things. If you just put in the big things first, right? Yeah. There's a couple more offense versus defense.
It's like defense is important. You always have to weed. You always have to maintain cuz you're not gonna score any points and you're not gonna win the game without the offense. Right? Exactly. You have to be moving toward your dream and your. yep. Jeff. Okay. Share you. Actually, we were talking before with, you know, you knew you were gonna have a newborn and literally you plant a garden.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. But what did you every year? Yeah. So every year we plant a garden and this last year we knew we were gonna have a baby. So we, we were like, do we plant a garden? It's a lot of effort when I'm not home. My wife, Michelle would often weed and stuff like that. So I'm just like like the weeds will get outta control if she's not really able to.
Cause it's really hot outside and. Eight months pregnant. So we decided not to plant a garden this year, but we know we love fresh tomatoes. That's one of like the best things that come out of the garden are, is just like a garden, fresh tomato. If you guys aren't in love with those, just grow one plant and then tell me you're not
But so instead we just decided, Hey, let's just plant one tomato plant. Right outside of the door, in this dirt patch by our back patio and we did, and it's growing and we've got garden tomatoes, and it almost feels like we have a garden, but without all the stress and effort of it, because we really don't have time for that.
Right now, our garden is full taking care of a baby, which is the most important fruit in our life. right. Yeah. Like we knew that's what we wanted. So we did still plant the tomato. Then you can use this analogy, however you want modify it to your, to your life. But it's a good example of how to really, okay.
My life's pretty full with a bunch of things that I'm working on, but I really wanna focus my attention on maybe, maybe it's writing a book, maybe it's running a marathon, maybe it's, you know, any millions of goals that people have. The, the dream is yours, right? We're just here to give you ideas on how to practice the dream and make it real in your life.
So, that's really what it is. It's saying. Okay. Maybe all I can do. Like Sheldon was saying, walk , 10 minutes a day. Or maybe all I can do is jog a mile, right? It doesn't, it doesn't have to be this enormous change of life to change your life. If that's , if that doesn't sound cheesy, but yes, I think like Sheldon Lofton says you always have time for what you put first,
Sheldon Mills: which okay.
I've said it before. This is a hard pill to swallow. My opinion, because it's like, what you, what you do in a day is a really the true measure of what you put first. Like what's most important to you, that's true. Which I think far too often for all of us, it's like, oh, it's, it's it's distraction from a painful existence sometime.
I mean, that's like a harsh reality, but that's like true a lot.
Jeff Corrigan: Absolutely.
Sheldon Mills: And I hope nobody listening to this is like, you know, it's like very destructive methods of, of drugs or do you know what I mean? Like there are some pretty destructive distractions in the world, but I'm saying you could still have time to watch your shows and play your games.
If you just put this rock before the sand, just do it first.
Jeff Corrigan: Mm-hmm absolutely. I've found , way more success. Doing the things that are highest on my true priority list early in the morning. Now, not everybody has that availability, so modify it to your life.
Right. But putting it first just means making sure you make an appointment to do it every day. And we've been talking about this, the last two episodes action triggers are really just an appointment with your future self, . To make that dream in reality. So to get back to that analogy and use that here, take your action.
Trigger that appoint. And put it in an offensive position in your day. Yes. Make sure it blocks out time on your calendar. So in offensive position for me, is it blocks out time on your calendar and it cannot be interrupted except for emergencies. right. yeah. You get to define what those are, but don't make them the laundry.
Don't make them feeding the dog. Right. Don't make the things that, that are important, but not urgent are the things that really have to be given time in your calendar or they never get done. Yeah.
Sheldon Mills: Sometimes when we are prepping for a show, Jeff and I, we go through the main idea, the stories, the things we wanna share and we call 'em false beliefs, right?
Mm-hmm I just wanna share? One that we wrote down here of, of something that I think is a, a false belief. We need to figure out how to overcome. I don't have enough time for the things I want to do. I'm too busy. Why is that a false belief? Or how do we change? Maybe that's not even a, not that it's a fault belief, cuz it's a, I mean, it's a true belief.
I I've believed that many is . Right. But how do we change that to be like, I do have enough
Jeff Corrigan: time. Well, it would be kind of like from our last episode when we talked about Einstein time versus Newtonian time I think the flaw in that thinking is that you're thinking that you have. in reality, you make time,
Life happens to us rather than we choosing. Right. You, you change. Yeah. It's just a paradigm shift to think, oh, life's not happening to me. It's happening for me. And when I make an appointment, I've actually made time. Right. And so it becomes vitally important to communicate with those around you and say, Hey, this is something that's really important to me.
I wanna make a little time every day. Is it realistic? To schedule this time in, right. What do I have to do? Whether that's wake up earlier, whatever that looks like for you, some people for a while, if they're working on an important project, they'll stay up later and that's not ideal.
right. Saying up later is never ideal, but maybe waking up a few minutes earlier, which means you just go to bed a little earlier, something like that, or in while you're eating lunch, you're watching courses online, however, this fits . And tie it to something you're already. I think , that's a really helpful piece.
Okay. Hmm. I can fold laundry while I watch this course online? It doesn't, it just has to be busy. I think sometimes it, it almost always, I should say is an excuse. Right? Now it doesn't mean you're not busy. I'm not saying that, but busy just means you haven't really taken control of your time and decided what it is you really want to do.
Instead. You're letting. Life take control of you. yeah.
Sheldon Mills: Yeah. What's the, is it Derek silvers? He's like people that say they're too busy. I now I just feel like they just don't have control of their life. you know what I mean? Like again, which I think for hard, some of us it's like, that's hard, hard to swallow, but it's like, we don't really believe that we're the gardener, right? Yeah. We don't really believe that we can choose what we wanna spend our time and energy. What we're gonna water. Yeah. What we wanna grow.
Jeff Corrigan: We've we've been living our lives with someone else's the gardener and then frustrated with the results.
And I think it's time now to at least take control of a little piece of your garden. right. If that's all you can do for the moment, is just take the tiniest fraction the confidence that comes from knowing every night that, Hey, I took one step towards my bigger dream today or towards my future self, towards my better life.
Whatever that phrase is for you. Here's where I found as I started to focus in and write down my three top priorities each day. So I have my busy work list. of like, here's all these, there's always the laundry list. Yeah. The laundry list of, Hey, these are my family requirements, my work requirements, my, this, the things I've committed to.
Right. I'm not letting those things go. I'm not dropping those balls. I'm simply saying, okay, here's my list of those. Now, if I could only get done three things today on my. Future self list. What are they? Right. Yeah. And I write those on the right side. And those are the things that I try to put in first.
And I don't make them big. Cuz if you make them big, it starts to you get this guilt going on. That's like, oh wait, that took away family time that took away the extra. Right. So figure out how you can do that. But the biggest conflict that I've found as I've tried to implement this in my life and I'll give you, I'll be honest, right?
It hasn't always been great. implementing these things is not always just like, ah, tomorrow. It's perfect. It takes practice. It takes time and it takes effort and our true desire. It's something driving you is what really builds habits. There's thing called what we call empty habits and sticky habits, empty habits, our habits, you try to build without a true goal or destination in.
Sticky habits are goals with an identity and a goal in mind. It's like, all right, this is who I want to be. And what I want to get, this is the fruit I want to plant. But there is a conflict that occurs between who you have been and who you want to be. And it's a battle. Yeah. It's an emotional battle.
That's what make change so hard because all of us know a lot of this stuff and Lisa who we talk to and she'll be on our episode next week. She talked about this, how change does not happen from information. More information is not the key to change. . It doesn't hurt, but
it's not the catalyst. That's gonna put you over the edge and, and change your life. Change comes from recognizing, okay. Who I've been. Isn't who I have to be anymore. Yeah. And, and committing to a new. And there's just a couple ways to do it. Action triggers are super helpful. We're gonna give you some awesome tips
maybe next month or maybe even a little sooner on upper and lower limits, which the next topic we're gonna cover. It's one of our favorites. So stay tuned for upper and lower limits. We got it from Greg McEwen, but it's an age old principal,
Sheldon Mills: , this whole allow the habit.
It's all about a mindset. It's all about recognizing how we can take control and be the gardener. Right? Cause we like being caught in urgent battles, keeps you on the hamster wheel. like you, you have to figure out how to time and attention on the thing you want to grow.
Jeff Corrigan: There's a quote from Victor Franco that kind of solidifies this whole point of be driven by your future and not your. He says it is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future. It is essential for us to have an identity that we want to create, to plant a new seed in our lives and not worry so much about the seeds we've planted in the past.
When I plant to garden and we use all of it up, I clear out the garden and I move on to the season. and it's time for you to do the same. If you're letting old corn stocks fill up your whole garden. It's like, oh, well I can't plant anything. Cuz I got all these old corn stocks, ? Yeah. It's like that's stopping you from creating anything new, clear the soil, plant new seeds and look to the future.
What is it you want to grow now?
Sheldon Mills: isn't that the truth though, it doesn't matter if for your entire life, this is the way it has been. . Hmm. It really is like a plot of land that you can clear out. You can start fresh and can grow something different.
Don't look at the past. . I mean, it's easier because that's what we've, that's what we've planted for years consciously or unconsciously. We know exactly how to do that. right. Yep. That's what we've always done. It's all we've ever done. It's all we know really. . Mm-hmm and I would say most of it's unconscious, but it can be radically different.
It can be radically different fairly quickly.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. I would suggest you one thing here. So besides writing down at least one thing, or, or up to three things that you're gonna do every day on your high priority list, is consider this.
If you've ever said to yourself, like, well, I've never done, or I don't, I'm not good at, or I, those are things that the past you has never. The past you wasn't good at and what you should change that to is I'm not good. right. I need to practice. I'm gonna work at this. I'm gonna make it happen. I'm gonna get fumbled a few times.
Get into the arena. like in the arena. Sure. The first few fights you get fumbled and that's, there's no doubt.
Sheldon Mills: You have to learn to like failing. That's part of the process. That's what we forget. You know, it's like people who never fail, never try.
Yeah.
Jeff Corrigan: you like go back to our football offense versus defense analogy. It's like, sure. When you go play offense for the first time, maybe you get sacked, maybe like maybe you get hammered and you don't make any progress. But the more you do it, the more you practice, the more offense you play. Yeah.
Eventually you score some touchdowns. Eventually you get some points on the board and for all of you who aren't sports fans, this can go with anything. Right.
Sheldon Mills: embrace the newness, the even difficulty, you know what I mean? Like you have to get it wrong to get it right. Like you only learn. By failing by making mistakes by trying, right?
Jeff Corrigan: Absolutely. That's okay. I've been repeating to myself from Seth. God, he keeps saying the practice. Right? Keep it going, keep doing the things that you wanna do and just ship it, get it out there. Get the feedback, take the pumbling. Right. People might not like it first. So. We can harp on this forever. All day long.
Yeah.
Sheldon Mills: So yeah, one last quote, quote to share, then we should probably close this out. Awesome.
Jeff Corrigan: Again,
Sheldon Mills: back to James Allen as a man, thinketh our garden, man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions. But when he realizes that he is a creative power and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow.
he then becomes the rightful master of himself. Why? Cause he realizes we realize all of us that we can grow, whatever we want, whatever we decide to grow. We may not know how in fact we don't like we never do. Right. We we've never done it before. We don't know how to do it. Right. But we can, go out outside of ourselves and do something new it's within our power.
And it's up to us if, if we still choose it.
Jeff Corrigan: Absolutely. Beautifully said to quote our last episode, it's time to stop, reacting, and start creating. You are a creative being. You are the gardener of your life, even if it's just a small portion that you can take control of right now, put an action, trigger out there, set a daily appointment for yourself and make it happen.
Sheldon Mills: Thank you guys for joining us again. Look forward to next week with Lisa Bishop. It's gonna be good. She's good. Like Jeff said, the month of September, we want as many people that go through the course so we can make any tweaks adjustments changes if need be to, to take it from a good to a great course.
. So please. Click on the link, go there for free this month in exchange for, for your feedback, your review. ? So thank you for joining us.
Jeff Corrigan: Thank you guys. It's time to start living your best life.
