Sheldon Mills: welcome to Habit Masters. I'm Sheldon. I'm Jeff, and we have a wonderful, concise but poignant episode for you today.
If you missed our last one, we're talking about upper and lower limits. Today is related, but it's different. I think you'll find it very enlightening. Jeff, you wanna just kick us off?
Jeff Corrigan: Well, we like to dig into these things a little bit. That's why we're doing each of them for three weeks to a month.
And with this one, , I think we found a way to end your pain , and you may be wondering , what pain are you talking about, Jeff? Like , I, I'm feeling good. Right. In truth, we all kind of have these little hidden pains that we don't tend to recognize or they're not painful enough for us to change.
Right. We're just kind of dealing with them. There's a story that emphasizes this really well. It's about a guy who moves into a neighborhood and his next door neighbor has a dog. That just keeps howling and howling and howling, and no matter what, this dog just keeps howling. And so at first, he's kinda like, What's up with this dog?
You know, he is getting annoyed with it, but then he is like, Well, maybe I'll just give it a day. He'll probably chill out tomorrow, but the dog doesn't stop. It just keeps howling. And so one day he's walking by the neighbor's house and he's sitting out on his porch and he goes up to him and he is like, Hey, what's up with the dog?
Right? I'm your new neighbor, and why does your dog keep ping? He's like, Well, it's because he's sitting on a nail. And he's like, What? Why doesn't he get off the nail? He's like, Well, it hasn't become painful enough for him to move . And so the moral of the story is kind of similar to us, like, are, where are we sitting on a nail in our life ?
, there's so many areas of our life where we maybe just are tolerating the pain or annoyance or regret that we're feeling. And today we wanna share with you how really leveraging the lower limit. And making that a priority in your life can help you remove yourself from the nail. In the simplest way possible.
And let's give some examples. What are some nails in our lives? Sheldon,
Sheldon Mills: It's like your health.
You know, you want. To get better or or more healthy for yourself, for your children, for your spouse, and yet it's not quite a big enough. I mean, a lot of people, it's like something will happen and then they get this diagnosis from the doctor that's like, All right, that that makes it painful enough.
You know, just all of a sudden it's like, if you don't change, there'll be drastic consequences. It makes it painful enough to like, All right, it's time to do something about.
Jeff Corrigan: That's a great way of putting it and I think either you can change it now with where the pain is minor or you can wait until that in thing gets infected and now you have to change.
Right? It's like that's, it is like the dog. Finally, they have to take him to the doctor and it's like this thing got infected and now they have to do all this surgery and, and is forced to change. But if you can change it before that comes, you're in a much better place. I kind of think of it it this way.
Think of the thing that you go to bed at night regretting that you didn't do. It's like, Oh, I wish I had worked on X. Right? Whatever that goal is or that thing you shelved and said, Hey, someday I'm gonna do this. I really want to learn this new skill, but I'm not gonna do it until my kids are older or I make enough money or, or whatever the excuse or reason may be.
And there maybe you can use that interchangeably. Excuse and reason . So but it's, I have another example I wanna share. Yeah, go ahead. So share an example. I
Sheldon Mills: was listening to a podcast from Get Your Marriage on, and it was , an interview with I think her name was, Alexandra
stockwell, and she's a, an md and basically this idea is she, she does a story where her and her husband, they met in medical school and fell in love, got married, had her first child after the, you know, the third year, had a second child when she was doing residency, and she basically is talking about their marriage and their, sex life.
And basically she's like, you know, when you're, you're a teenager, you expect life to be, It's kind of like part of the journey, you know what I mean? Like not knowing, asking questions, but you get to this point where it's like you've established a life together, but your, your intimate life right, isn't really quite what you, It's good, I mean, enjoyable, but not.
What was the term she used? Um, Transcendent. Right? . And she was really afraid of, of basically after 10 years of good marriage, happy, and at the same time really afraid to bring up to her husband. Like, our sex life isn't quite, Or I feel like it could be like, we're selling ourselves short.
And it was like this huge battle. Cause they both came from, from marriages or parents from their parents were divorced and she's like, I was afraid this would be the catalyst that just like tipped it. Right? And sure enough, when she gently kind of brought this idea up to her husband eventually after like lots of courage, right?
He basically was like, Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Let's, let's do something about it. Yeah, I see that as like probably , maybe this is too real that most people wanna know, but , it's a little nail that's like, it's not quite what it could be and how you feel, You know what I mean? And, and it's not painful enough for a lot of people to do anything about it.
You know, rock the boat, the status quo. Things are good, but it could be great.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah. Are we more scared of the change than the pain? And I think so many times we are because. Assume that the change is going to be much more difficult or cause all kinds of problems, but more often than not, I think it's because we have this perfectionist mentality that's hiding in the background saying, If you change, you have to change it all.
And, and I don't think that's true. The reason we wanna focus on lower limits today is because it helps you make this shift in small, simple ways. It's just very consistent, which then changes your life. By compounding, right? Yeah. It, it's, it's really just, this is the key to the compound effect.
It's figuring out what's the minimum effective dose that I can use. And we heard from one of our mentors recently, he called, he called some tasks that he does minimum standards of excellence, and that's kind of the same idea. The minimum effective dose, the lower limit, your minimum standards of excellence.
What do I count as a win? Because right now your perfectionist side is saying, Hey, if you don't do the full two hours of your workout, you might as well not work out at all. , Right? You failed, right? Yeah. You've failed, you're miserable. Like, and that keeps us so much from reaching our goals, whether those are health goals, whether those are financial goals, whether those are relationship goals, like Sheldon's expressing here.
What's, that pain point? And, and I think the biggest part of this that maybe is even harder is recognizing where that pain is. Maybe you don't even realize you're sitting on a nail. It's just an a minor annoyance in your life that you've been dealing with for so long. You don't even think about it anymore, or you've pushed it to the background of your mind.
And I'm getting a little too into the weeds on this, but I feel like. There's so much power in what we're about to share. So Sheldon, give him the synopsis here, how this works.
Sheldon Mills: Yeah. So again, upper and lower limits, this fits really well. But the way Ben Hardy, he describes the minimum standard of excellence.
It was like a little bit more nuanced and I really liked it. So he laid out his minimum standard of excellence is. Kind of the lower limit, but basically if I do this, the results will compound into something that, that results in excellence. And he gave examples of like his writing and he is like, Oh, I do at least two articles a week on LinkedIn Medium.
And after a year of doing that, that's like 104 articles. He's like, Don't get me wrong, Like when I'm in the flow, I'm in the groove. I can do more than that. I could easily do that in a date, but this is my minimum standard that if I do. , the results will still be phenomenal, right? Mm-hmm. . So the minimum standard of excellence is like, I, I'd say for me and my wife, we like to exercise in the mornings together.
It's either the minimum standard is like a Yoga video or a 12 minute hit. We like to spend more time working out than that. But if all it's fails. I can do a 12 minute Tabata. Do you know what I mean? Like we can do a quick yoga video together, but compound that over weeks, months, and years even. If that's all we did, you know, a quick yoga video or a 12 minute Tabata, the results will still be phenomenal.
We'll still be in great shape.
Jeff Corrigan: Absolutely. That's a great example. And this all kind of comes back to what our podcast is really about, which is helping you make daily progress towards your biggest goals, or not even daily, but consistent progress towards your biggest goals And the reason we call ourselves Habit Masters is because we think that's the most important skill in order to get you there..
Because as part of your daily routine, you already have things you don't even think about that you do. You brush your teeth, maybe you write in your journal, you say your prayers, you read your scripture. Whatever those things are that you just do daily out of habit and out of a historical desire to be better, are things you don't necessarily have to schedule in anymore.
So the stuff we are talking about is making progress to the new you. Yeah. So what's, what's the future you, you're looking to be, and what is that change you're seeking to. And now start with that. And what it did for me, like when I was listening to Ben Hardy talk about it, really simplified how to execute this plan.
So how you execute this plan and really get this working in your life is to write out those minimum standards of excellence or this minimum minimum effective dose for you in your life of, okay, what do I do daily? What are some tasks that you do daily? That either maintain your life or you're using to progress your life towards where you want to go in the future.
And just write down, Okay, here's what I do. I write in my journal, I read in my scripts, whatever those things are. And I keep using those because those are few are my habits. And then after you've written that list for daily, you do a weekly list, Okay, what am I gonna do weekly? And then from there you go monthly.
So you could do daily, weekly, monthly, Write out the things that you're gonna do in each, in each of those measurements of time. Then the next step that I would suggest to you is to look through those and say, Okay, what are already habits that I do without having to think about anymore? I don't have to use all my willpower to get myself up in the morning and do my exercise.
Like Sheldon's saying, right? Exercise has become a part of his daily routine, and if he ever misses it, it feels worse for missing. Then it is hard to get to do it, if that makes sense. Right. I dunno if I phrased that properly, but you
got
Jeff Corrigan: it.
Sheldon Mills: Well, and, and I think this is a good distinction because everybody, we all have this, an identity of who we are and the things that we do that really are, they make us, And, and if you're listening to this podcast, it's because you are a high achiever,
do you know what I mean? Like, all the people who are listening to this, they're striving, they're trying, Do you know what I mean? So this includes, But the same time, we're all fortunate enough to grow up in societies and families that instilled good habits, good identities into who we are. And you know, the, if I were to not brush my teeth at night, that would be, that would feel worse.
Yeah. Then the effort it takes to floss and brush every night. Do you know what I mean? That's just part of, of probably everybody, who's listening to this is probably part of their identity. You know what I mean? So it's, it's the goal, the thing that your action, you're trying to change, it's something.
Different from what it is now. Like we all have things we want to be, do, and have. And so we're trying to get toward, you know, change our identity, change that we do to be that thing, do those things and have this stuff, right. So this, this really applies to, you know, this, this change. We want in our identity, these, this change we want in.
Goals and and what we can achieve.
Jeff Corrigan: Exactly. So , you wanna list and say, Okay, here's the things I already do. And then say, Here's the things I'm working on improving. So these are areas of focus for me to create the new me or to at least prove the new identity I've already committed to.
It's like I'm committed to becoming a marathon runner. I'm committed to becoming an author. Right? Whatever that looks like for you. Now take and say, Okay, what's on my list daily? What's on my list weekly? What's on my list monthly that relates to that big goal? Really, you wanna narrow it down to three at the most, because at the most, Yeah.
Otherwise, it's just too many. Right? It, it just, it gets overwhelming and you start to think, Oh wow, I'm never gonna accomplish this. And then that perfectionist creeps back in. So we want the minimum effective dose, remember? So these should be related to those big goals, areas of life you're focused on improving and that align with the new identity you've committed to.
And we've talked about that. If, if you wanna know more about that, go back a couple of months in our episodes where we talk about new identity . So it's gonna give you a good starting point for that.
Sheldon Mills: The minimum standard of excellence. I like that term a lot because again, I want to exercise more in a day.
Right. And if I'm able to, it'll help get me toward my goal faster. But the minimum standard of excellence is like I think it's a little bit different than lower limit. Sometimes the lower limit, the consistency of the habit is more important to the quantity. So the lower.
If you have to, it's one pushup, right? It's writing, it's opening your journal and writing one sentence, right? Yeah. Like, like the bare minimum to keep the going consistently. But minimum standard of excellence is kind of like this lower limit of where even if this is all you accomplished, like literally all you did is the, the minimum standard of excellence.
After, you know, two months, three months, a year, you would see tangible. Results like excellence, you know what I mean? There would be, you'd make, you'd have this real progress, so it could be the same as your lower limit, but I see it's a little bit nuanced in that, you know, he's like, I wanna write more, I wanna do more than this.
But like, if this is all I accomplish, it'll have been a great year.
Jeff Corrigan: Absolutely. So those Or a great day, right? A great day. It's like, yeah, yeah. It's like a great day, a great week, a great month, a year, cuz a great day. Compounds into a great week, compounds into a great month, and so on and so forth. Yeah. And I feel like that's the beauty, like consistency is this superpower that we've all overlooked and that's what we're all about, is helping you become more consistent by learning the tools of building habit.
So that you can create the habits that are moving you forward in your life. Cuz you already have habits that are keeping you where you are and those aren't bad. We don't wanna necessarily get rid of those, but we wanna start infusing some of these new habits that are creating this future you, that is living your best life, not just 10 years from now, but right now.
Cuz it, it buoys up your confidence. It gives you all this courage and motivation to say, Oh wow, I'm not just. It like a week goes by of doing the thing that you've been putting off for years, and you suddenly feel like, Wow, I've made more progress in the last week than I have in the last five years.
towards this goal. And there's so much power in that, even if it's really small steps. Yeah. So how do we wrap this up into a nice nutshell ?
Sheldon Mills: Mm, good question. I mean, ultimately it comes down to progress, not perfection is, is living in the gain. You know what I mean? Uh, One little thing real quick. Jeff is a wonderful, it's part of who he is to journal every day, right?
That has been things I've done in varying consistency over time and to varying success. And as we were talking today, it dawned on. . Part of the reason was because when I attended journal, I tend to focus on the gap, meaning like I'd write down like where I fell short, why am I falling short and why do I feel this?
Do you know what I mean? And I realized there's nothing motivational about that. Right? And then, so I'm trying to change it to, okay, what are my wins? You know, what are the. Great idea that, that just struck me today that Jeff and I talked about, or I heard on a podcast or, or something that's like the things that, that build you up.
Whenever I talk to Jeff, I am more of motivated to when before I started to talk to him, we like build off each other's, What do you wanna call it? Mojo or, or like enthusiasm. Do you know what I mean? Enthusiasm. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. And I realized that part of my journey for journaling is I need to make sure that something that's motivating and uplifting for me instead of just a rehash of Why didn't accomplish what I thought I, you know, I wanted to do today?
Or why am I feeling down, you know, which is fine. Don't get me wrong. How do I put this? There is certainly benefit and there, there are good things about that, but I realize there's a part of me, it's like, Oh, what should I write about? And immediately my mind is going to like, Well, where have I been in the gap?
Maybe I should write about that. I never realized that until now.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah, it's, it's easy to point out all the things we're not doing right or to point out all the areas we're struggling. And in fact, that's where our mind automatically goes because like, look at all these areas we're failing in. And that's the, the real goal of this whole tool that we've been talking about is reversing that thought process and saying, Where am I winning?
How, How can I make winning easier and how can I keep making progress on these other areas? Because you're already doing so well in so many areas of your life. Start giving yourself credit for those. Yes. But then start giving yourself an opportunity to succeed in areas that are new. Like, that's so powerful.
And I feel it in my own life. When we've done, I just looked back, We've been doing this podcast for how long now, Sheldon? We started in 20. February year. What's that? So yeah, what's, Geez, right, We're two, two and a half years in. It feels amazing. And, you know, the more reviews we get, the more excited we get, The more people we talk to about these ideas and it's impacting their lives.
I just, I gotta tell you guys, like reviews are big for us, . We think they're so exciting and it's super fun to read them, whether they're good or, or just feedback. Like, you know, we, we love all of it. Let us know what's working for you. But I wanna wrap all this up a little bit and say, here's a couple of things.
So number one, what we talked about. How are you going to leverage the lower limit in your life? Is really using this minimum standards of excellence and, and applying it to a daily, a weekly, and a monthly list of things that you do on a regular basis, and minimizing that list down to the top two or three things that are taking you towards your big goal or this dream that you've maybe been waiting on or putting on the shelf that's been kind of a pain point for you that's causing a lot of regret in your life.
And I'll share with you a couple of mine, just so you have an example. So on my daily list, I've, I've got some of my normal stuff, which is my habit is like 40 to 60 minutes of exercise, right? Make breakfast for my family. That's something I do every day. I love it. Drawing practice and drawing practice and study.
So I, I want to illustrate kids' books at some point. And, and so I'm working on that skill. That's a big goal of mine. So of those two, right? The exercise is something that I do habitually now. It's not something I have to force myself to. But drawing practice, that's something that I'm focused on intentionally improving.
So the, that's two examples right there. Weekly, Okay. We, we try to do a podcast episode every week. We don't always do it. . We, we, we have big families and lots of things in our life that prevent us. And those are all excuses too. But that's something that, you know, podcasts every week. So that's something we're constantly working on, improving.
Article or blog, right? So a couple of things that I wanna do every week that I currently am not perfect at. And again, progress not perfection. And then monthly, I wanna do some daddy dates with my, my kids. Call those what you want. But is something I'm not doing currently,
Sheldon Mills: have a question for you. Is this the, the goal, the ideal, or is this your minimum standard of excellence? Because we were talking about this and our, our goal is to do one a week, but our minimum standard of excellence, let's be honest, it's probably like two a month.
True. Yeah. So that even if we only do two a month, then we can do two a month. Right. It'll still have great results. It'll still be able to get good messages out there and, and affect people's lives and help people achieve their dreams and goals. Right.
Jeff Corrigan: Yeah, I love that. That's a perfect way to pull that out of there, because that's what we wanted people to see is like, okay, where am I overshooting, and how can I bring that back to a minimum standard of excellence and say, Okay, if I'm not doing it four times a month, which is my upper.
Maybe what's my lower limit? What's my minimum standard of excellence that says I'm still moving and progressing and seeing that value there. So I love that example. And then the biggest thing you can do is go write your list daily, weekly, monthly.
Look at the areas where, hey, this is something I already do. And then pick three things that you, you can say, Okay, this is something that I'm working on improving. And give yourself a minimum standard of excellence with that thing so that you can start making progress daily, weekly, and monthly.
Sheldon Mills: It doesn't take a whole lot repeated over time to make it so you feel you're ending your days and your weeks with this satisfaction of accomplishment that you're, you're moving to where you wanna go, right? It doesn't have to be a mountain, but a shovel a day and all of a sudden, a few weeks down, and it's like you're starting to move real dirt there.
You know what I mean? You're starting to build something big. So consistency is more important than the quantity be.
Jeff Corrigan: And in fact, I would say it's the only way forward , because you can't move a mountain in one try, right? Yeah. So with that, we wanna thank you all for listening we hope you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it. If you liked this episode, please go give us a review. We're trying to get to a hundred of reviews on apple podcast and so far, we've got a few extras in the last month and they've been awesome to see. So we appreciate all of you who have reviewed us and we hope that you guys are enjoying the show.
We also have a course that we've just released and we've had a lot of people go through and we've already made some edits and we'd love for you to go through it. So if you're listening to this episode, we have a little secret for you. If you email us at [email protected], we will send you a free link to get on dot course and take it with you and a buddy if you'd like.
So it's really fun. It's seven days. It's built for people like you with busy lives so that you're not having to spend two hours a day on this thing. No, it's gonna help you implement everything we've been talking about over the last several months, along with some other things that are coming up later in our episodes that you're really going to like.
These are the fundamentals of habit building. Thank you very much. Thank you guys, and it's time to start living your best life.
